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J/P mirror love

Beatle Craaazy!!

'specially John and Paul!!

Fic: What Goes On
J/P mirror love
Just posting this because it's funny. I had this story sent to me months ago and have had it sitting in a folder of amusing fics. A recent comment conversation reminded me that I had saved it. Please note, this is not my story, I have re-posted it with permission from the author. Incidentally, she is thinking maybe she will continue it!!!   I left her original author's note at the beginning.


What Goes On…

A/N: Just a little fantasy fic. I haven’t any permission from Julian Lennon nor Stella McCartney to use them as story fodder. Somehow, I think I’ll be safe. I think the Lennon and McCartney progeny would probably appreciate it. Premise: What if Julian and Stella really did become aware of ‘betterthenyou’??

No beta here. If she doesn't have to use one, neither do I. *snort* Mistakes are mine. ;)



The daughter of Paul McCartney and the eldest son of John Lennon greeted each other like a couple of teenagers. Julian grabbed Stella in an enormous bear hug, lifting her easily off the floor and swinging her around the foyer of his modest home.

“Oh, Jules! It’s been too long. Few and far between emails on the computer just aren’t enough!”

Julian laughed out loud and carefully set Stella back on her feet. “You’re right, Stinky! I’m so glad to see you.” He smiled at her fondly as she screwed her delicate McCartney features into a tight grimace.

“Go to hell, Julian. Why do you only call me that when you see me?”

“Don’t be stupid, cranky,” Julian giggled while shaking his head. “You know I can’t smell you over the computer!”

Stella couldn’t hide the silly grin, slapping him on the arm playfully.

“Well, stop it. I’m not a kid anymore. You hippies are all the same.”

“OH, HO, HO!!! Now we get to the heart of the matter, don’t we?” Julian snorted.

“Whatever. Come on, now. Your message was so fucking weird; I just had to take some time out and come see you. What is so pressingly funny that you couldn’t write me about??”

Julian grinned and shook his head. “I know. I must show you. I've been laughing my ass off so much; I had a friend of mine send me some interesting links. YOU were the first person I thought of. ”

He reached out and grabbed the petite blonde by the arm leading her into a den with a huge computer set up in the corner of the room. They sat down and Stella immediately guffawed when she saw the FaceBook page on the screen.

“OH MY GOD. You have been reading. Have you seen the things that vile woman has been saying about both of us? I mean, she’s so incredibly stupid! Is this what you’re so wound up about? I already know about that silly freak person.”

“HA HA HA!! Yes, she’s all puffed up about my FaceBook site blocking her—then of course your hippie comment. The thing I've found most funny is how many regular people can’t stand her. I’ve known about her, too, but her unique perspective of the world is what is so interesting…”

Stella pointed a finger in Julian’s face and shouted. “AH HA! You've been doing homework! Tell me what you've found.”

Julian chuckled. “Well, we both know of the rumors and fantasy fictions people have been writing about our Dads’ “relationship” forever…” adding double fingered air quotes to the proper word. “ I've looked a up a few of them, I don’t know what there is to be upset about. You can’t stop others from their fantasies. Some of the stories are damn good, and almost believable. You’d be surprised.”

Stella grinned. “I’ve seen several of the stories, actually. They've both been accused of worse things, right? Most of what I've seen has been reasonably respectful. I would only say this to you, and would deny it if you told anyone else…but some of those stories are simply smoking hot.”

Julian winced, and then grinned. “I’ll take your word for it. I kind of skipped a lot of the gory detail…” he trailed off and blushed.

“You men. You have no stomach for the good stuff. No matter, have you been watching Ms. Whack job’s FaceBook, then?”

“I have. She’s just talking to herself, really. I found some better stuff, though, and that’s the reason I asked you here. You will LOVE this!! I’ve found a couple of Beatle writing communities that have apparently taken up virtual arms against the crazy woman.”

Stella smiled widely, looking like the little girl Julian knew all those years ago. So innocent and adorable, but hiding an intensity that the world didn’t know about until she came into her own. Julian often wondered how such a small body could contain such a large heart and exquisite nature. She was the perfect mix of her parents. Both of them were beautiful, both talented, and both loyal as hell. Somewhere in that McCartney/Eastman DNA there was a buried chromosome that contained an extraordinary ability to be loud, blunt and to the point. A scarily Lennon trait. He quickly shook off that thought as Stella poked him in the chest, disturbing his wandering thoughts.

“Hey, Godammit. GIVE. What is this thing that has you so fascinated?” Whoops, there was that Lennon bluntness…oh shit.

“Here, just look. I haven’t put it all together quite yet. Somewhere along the line, this Cat Person pissed off the Beatle communities on LiveJournal. Did you have any idea she really wrote stories?? Holy shit, Stella! I’ve seen her yap about them online, but just figured she was posting just to see her words on a screen. She actually DOES write…and BADLY.”

“No way! HAHAHA! Really? She writes fan fiction? I have to see this.”

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll bring up a story, and bet you that you can’t make it through the whole thing.”

“That’s not fair, Jules. You just told me you skipped the gory details. We already know YOU can’t make it through one. I know she’s a sex thinking addict. She can’t be a sex addict; she talks about it way too much. I've done a bit of homework myself, ya know. Not only that, but her strange cannibalism thing. Jesus Christ, pick your weird and stick with it!”

Julian half laughed and half huffed with impatience. “I know, I know. I made it through two of her stories. ALL the way through. Consider this an initiation. You only have to live through one story. I read two, all the way through. I don’t want to give it away. I just want your reaction! It’s written from your Dad’s point of view? Doesn't that make you the least bit curious?” Julian gave a thin smile and Lennonesque tard face.

“Alright then. Is this the one you have on the screen here?”

“Nope. Hang on. I've got a bunch of shit bookmarked JUST for you…” Julian clicked a few times and a story appeared on the screen entitled “ Hamburg: The First Time”.

“What does the title tell you, Stel?” Julian asked barely able to choke back the chuckle.

“Well, with a normal person, it would be the First Time they went to Hamburg. Knowing this is Ms. Whack Job, I’d say it’s the first time your lucky Dad had fictional sex with my Dad. Shit. Does someone get an ear bit off and eaten?” Stella made a face and added, “If someone gets a dick bit off, tell me now.”

It was too much for Julian. He let out a whoop and stomped his feet on the floor and covered his face, laughing uncontrollably. Stella smirked, and crossed her arms waiting for Julian to recover. She wasn't going to read the story until her questions were answered.

“Oh, Stella-girl. You give her way too much credit. No, you've nothing to worry about in that direction. She would have to be a creative sort to come up with that!”

“Okay. I’ll read it. All of it. Now, go make us some tea or something. I can’t concentrate while you sit here and stare.” Dutifully, Julian cleared his face and gave a blank stare.

“I swear, I won’t read it until you leave, dammit. Don’t worry, I won’t take all day. I’ll be done before you get back. I think. Christ, how long is this??” She was scrolling down the screen, already looking a bit shocked at what her eyes were catching.

“It’s long, but I’ll go to the kitchen and find something for us. Tea, then? I can do that.”

Stella waved, “BYE NOW.”

Julian chuckled and headed for the kitchen.

He hadn't even gotten to the stove before the first outburst came from the den. He stopped to listen.

“OH, FUCK! This is supposed to be my Dad and JOHN? Who talks like this?!! Who qualifies boys sharing beds with being gay? Trying things in Hamburg? How does one go from a bunch of young men’s first fuck fests to doing each other? Oh, wait; this is my apparently stupid Dad yammering about a lot of nothing…he doesn’t even talk like this when he’s pissed off his head!!”

Julian smiled. Stella was on a tear and hadn't even gotten out of the first three paragraphs. He filled the tea kettle and turned on the stove. Before long the outbursts continued. He was glad he wasn't sitting next to her. He’d be deaf before she finished the story. He sat at the kitchen table waiting for water to boil, and listened…

“Wow, sensitive dick my Dad had…he came when John was NEARBY?


“Oh thank god. He found out he could come when someone touched him! Poor Dad! Oh, the rest of it makes no sense…”

“Two guys in wicked Hamburg can’t find release? Oh, I get it. She’s trying to imply they …want each other? That’s just stupid. WAIT. Bad sex with a stripper hurting his back? Was he… never mind. CHRIST. JULIAN!! How does…” she trailed off.

Stella was strangely silent. Not for long.


The teakettle began to whistle, and Julian jumped up to finish making the tea.

“GOD DAMN!!” Stella shouted from the kitchen door, and an extremely startled Julian almost dropped the tea kettle. He gripped the handle and struggled to set it down carefully.

“That was the most poorly written piece of shit I've ever read, Julian. I've read a lot of these fictions about our Dads. Holy shit…”

“Thanks for scaring the shit out of me, Stella,” Julian cut her off. “Can I finish this tea before you finish your reaction? I still need my hands to work!”

Stella rolled her eyes and pushed him out of her way, abruptly taking over tea making duties.

“I just can’t get my mind around it, Jules. My Dad is no blubbering idiot. Your Dad, I can’t see your Dad being so… so… molesty? Is that a word? It is now. There’s no way to describe the creepy way your Dad came off. Oh, my FUCKING god.”

“I feel your pain. I don’t get it either, and that will be the second part of your enlightening today. A couple of things we didn't know: This ‘betterthenyou’ person doesn't know shit about The Beatles for one…”

“Apparently she doesn't know shit about a lot of things,” Stella interrupted. Seriously, while I've never bought the whole relationship thing with our Dads, at least there are people out there who seem to draw conclusions from things other than their…”

It was Julian’s turn to interrupt.

“Hey, just slow down. There are answers out there, and they’re answers from those writers and readers who deal with the good stuff.”

Surprised, Stella clamped her jaw shut and nodded for him to continue.

“Okay. She knows little to nothing about Beatle history. She can’t write to save her life. Now I find out she’s really just some sort of internet troll. She’s ruined several fandoms and share sites out there. She’s known in some circles to stalk celebrities. It’s all in these blogs I found; well, a friend of mine found and sent me the links.”

“Well…how is it she got on to you and me? I say something about hippies, and I’m suddenly the worst person on earth? Your people block her from your FaceBook because she says too much weird shit, and now she’s after you? We aren’t even BEATLES, for fuck’s sake.” Julian could tell her wheels were turning, as she chewed her thumbnail just as her famous father did when deep in thought.

“Stella. She’s batshit crazy. Not my words… all of these people she bothers and posts unbidden in their communities call her that. I think they’re right.”

Stella stopped chewing, and stared at him. “Well, shit. If that story is any indication of what she thinks of Lennon and McCartney? She must be a real treat.”

“She is. Sit and have your tea. Calm down a bit. You don’t have to rush off soon, do you?” Julian asked hopefully.

“Hell no, I don’t. You've intrigued me, Julian Lennon. If this has tickled your funny bone, it must be good. I’ll call and clear the rest of my day. My Dad’s always telling me to slow down and smell the flowers, ya know.”

Julian grinned behind his teacup and muttered, “More like cat turds…”

Stella cocked her head, unable to hear Julian’s words but catching the maniacal giggle. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, Stel. Finish your tea and make your call. I’ll meet you in the den. I’d tell you to bring the tea along, but tea doesn’t mix well with electronics.” He grinned again as he stood up to leave the room.

Stella shrugged “Whatever. You get more like your Dad, every day.”

“I suppose I do. Are you calling me a deviant?” Julian laughed.

“I didn't say you got more like HER version of your Dad!” Stella snapped at his back as he left the kitchen.

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